Laughing Out Loud

Carnage in the garden of Eden…

I am the bringer of death.

This year we have more butterflies visiting us.  Which is exactly how I planned it!  So far the ones with vibrant blue and pale yellow coloring have caught my breath.

Now they are going to die.

Because I thought it would be cool to plant these purple budding bushes that attract them.  It’s all my fault.

Well actually it’s probably my neighbor’s green thumb. He sprinkles this “Look how I can make everything grow” magic everywhere… It makes it hard not to believe you can make the same kind of magic.

Also it’s my husband’s fault.  He told me I could plant anything I wanted.  Dammit no one told me that moral dilemma was part of the packaged deal.

Then there is my role in all of this.  These things are thriving.  Partly because I decided to transplant them for optimal shade/sun growth potential.  Which was necessary because the last couple of sporadic Georgia tornado weather days beat the crap out of a couple Lily bulbs… and the 12+ hour sun on one corner of my flower bed beats anything that grows there into submission.

Frankly I am surprised any of them made it.

But you really don’t understand.

Plants come to me to die.  So I am pretty sure the magic overflowing from my 20140803_122925_Androidneighbor yard and my husband’s tilling the land is the only reason anything is growing.  Plus water.  Watering plants IS kind of therapeutic… but now it makes me directly responsible for the cycle of death I brought upon us…

I have no idea what attracted the hornets or wasp thingys but they love our porch.  Maybe they sense the green growing potential and know that this place is hopping!

I did try to spray them down.  Call pest control, who kindly knocked them down again… only to have half of the wasp family relocate to a near by bush.  Did I mention that I wanted to light this bush on fire?

When the birds made their nest in our front tree… I was excited! Now they will want to eat those hornets.  Perfect! Nature comes through for me.

After the last week of wetness, the ground was so soft I figured it was a perfect time to transplant without damaging root structures.  The only purple budding butterfly bush that was thriving was in the place with the most shade.  (6+ hours of direct light my @$% grumble grumble… Lesson learned)  So after I moved everything to where I knew they would live happier lives… instead of leaning over with doomed failure, the branches started reaching up and purple buds began to appear on the other bushes!

My soul began to sing!

Then I saw the birds swoop with speed from their tree.  Yay! Get those hornets!

My heart dropped.

They were after the butterflies.  Luckily this time a beautiful blue got away.  I saw where it landed in another tree.  The blue coloring was more obvious than an Easter egg hanging on a branch.

The birds miffed they carried on their hunt somewhere else.  But they will be back.  They live here now.  Food is plentiful.

Brave butterfly.  I have invited you into this cycle of death I have created.  I was only thinking about my happiness and now I have no way to warn you of the baby lizards and the praying mantis that also live here… creatures I openly think are adorable and have unknowingly also invited here… What was I thinking?

Even with all that said I found myself thinking about bringing in some ladybugs… the only thing keeping me from running out and getting some right now is the moral dilemma weighing on my shoulders… Everyone says ladybugs are good for the garden, but it’s easy to forget that they are also a potential food source for someone else.

Remember those food webs in school?  They don’t prepare you for gardening.  Also Gardners should get a Master’s degree in Chemistry or Biology.  Then I would know that aphids are not the only ones to blame for eating my tomatoes… hornets love fruit too.  There is a war out there!  Seriously.  What do I need to buy that will eat hornets?

So next time I go to the grocery store I am going to be a little bit more thankful for my un-bruised and whole fruit.

Take note Lowes & Home Depot.  Plants should come with warning labels:  6+ hours of sun shade.  Aphids like to vacation here.  Spiders love your mulch.  Don’t buy lady bugs on the way to the checkout.  Be a BOSS and buy a praying mantis. 

Caution Carnage

Right now I am pretty sure the birds are living large and should send me a Thank you card for the buffet.  Unless they don’t make it that long because a snake or a mountain lion gobbles them up…

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