Living Your Life

Cutting the White Roses Down

Continuing from Simple as a Tea Party …

All of it was for nothing.

That special circumstance form is useless… they tell me it’s a very slim chance.

On the State Department’s website they tell you if the other parent cannot be found to use this form.

But it’s a lie.

They give you hope and then they crush it.

They never give a reason why it doesn’t work for your situation, so you are stuck at an impasse. An unknowable wall.

Why do they even bother making this form available on their website? They should vet out who “qualifies” to use it and give out as needed.

Even though they could have chosen to give a passport, they will not without an order from the Judge.

A “simple” order that they do not specify or provide a form for a Judge to sign, so it’s on us to figure out what kind of order that is.

Because they believe we might be kidnapping our child. (Taking our child out of the country without the consent of a parent who has never been involved and cannot be found.)

They don’t see the burden in their demand.

They will not pay the cost of additional nights in a hotel, retaining a lawyer, or the emotional cost of separating children who have never been apart for longer than a night or two. They gave more rights to a man missing in action than he was due.

They require this unnamed process but do not provide a guide, so we must find cookie crumbs… and we must bear the cost of that unnamed process… to prove we are not kidnapping my child… on military orders… where our whereabouts can be proven.

But it’s not enough.

Supposedly a fair process but I wonder how much they are helping vs. hurting families who are doing the right thing.

Getting a passport shouldn’t be any harder than getting a birth certificate.

Going through this process made me realized that each state is like a country with its own processes and interpretations.

If we were a country with one mind and one heart we would have a national birth certificate. One kind of birth certificate. We would have passports for every citizen because traveling between the states would be like traveling in Europe from Germany to France. Easy to travel to and from, but available to verify your identity if needed.

Progressive thinking aside, it does nothing for the situation at hand.

This day has arrived. I cannot keep our family together. But I can drive them to the airport.

I have talked to each of them about today.

First time on an airplane. What turbulence and air pockets are like.

I can feel Lil Man’s insecurity as we checked everyone’s baggage but his.

I ask his brother and sister to give him a hug.

A few minutes later and it’s time to go through the security checkpoint. Where those without a ticket cannot pass. Finally the moment dawns on my minions and they fall to pieces. And I have to figure out how to be strong enough to tell them it’s okay.

Be safe. Take care of each other. If someone gets hurt, I don’t care who did it – hug them.

As they move thru the checkpoint and board the puddle jumper to their connecting flight, Lil Man buries his head in my chest and sobs uncontrollably. Finally we found the strength to wipe our tears and walk hand in hand out of that airport. We watched a set of blinking lights taxi and take off with pieces of my heart. Back to the hotel.

Tomorrow is a new day

I know we can get through anything when our family is together.

So torn apart and left behind, I know each day is going to be a fight. A fight to prove each day is worth living and to get up and live it.

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