Living Your Life

Life Check

Over the last 30 days we have traveled and we have received visitors.

Well they were more like family… and brave to put up or live with our crew for a couple of days!

I loved every moment of it!

Although I was thinking a lot.  I was taking things in.  So I may have come off as brooding.  If I did it was unintentional.

Someone who I missed talking to… late at night… just the two of us… touched on something that I had pondered over the last year.  I am a deep thinker.  I follow both arguments without attachment to where it leads me and then I weighed and measured it.  The last year-ish will be forever known as My Bitter Year.  I went through my thought process with less optimism and more darkness.  I came close to becoming a citizen of Why-Me and What-Ifs.  Thankfully I took a deep breath and chose to embrace the world of possibilities and light again.  

I had already come to this conclusion but hearing it from someone else…  For me it signified closure.  Giving me permission to move on.  I want to share it because I am only understanding this idea of success now in my mid-30’s and maybe another Winke out there desperately needs to hear it…

Sometimes we get wrapped up and even long for the things we see other people have.  They look like they have the perfect life.  The perfect job. The perfect family.  We hunger for their circumstances or the appearance of their success.

We think we will be happy or successful when we have what they appear to have…

I have seen it… and I am sure you have seen it.  There are those who scream sour grapes and then seemingly go out of their way to discredit or tear down another person.  They fail to move on and find their own success.

Positively energized Winkes know that they can offer words or actions that reflect encouragement or support.  We acknowledge the feeling we have towards the other person.  We accept the truth behind the feeling and then we act from a place of Love.  Not anger. Not hate.  Not envy.  If you really can’t stand that person for no reason at all…  Love to hate them?  Wish them well and move on.  Some people feed on the energy you give them and they don’t care where it comes from.

The thing is we are all born into environments with different resources.  We have different paths we must travel.  You have things in your environment that others want just as badly. You may not even know it!

Embrace who you are!  Embrace where you are!

The more you fight either one of those, the more you validate and affirm your dark space.  In plain speak… you will seek it out and gather around anything that supports your failure.  They will provide a miserable cocoon of safety and will kill your desire to have something better.

Step in to the light and don’t be afraid of who you are.  Reach out and be happy.  You were meant to be happy!

For me I acknowledge this in this physical form first.

I was trying to fill out my house with decorations and furniture that seem to fit the rooms or might be appeasing to visitors.  Then my Winke Spirit Guide popped out and said Why?  I got rid of furniture I had to have only a couple months before.  I thought long and hard about what I really wanted.  I listened to the flow of my energy in each room.

Finally I decided the kitchen table had to go.  I had envisioned a Korean floor table there instead.  It brought me comfort and peace.  I didn’t really want what other people had in their kitchens or living rooms.  I wanted function and flow.

I threw out bags after bags of things we no longer needed.  I did not pack them up and I didn’t sell 90% of those things.  Once I realized they meant nothing to me they simply ceased to have value.  They were simply in my way blocking my flow.

I did question if I would keep my tea cups.  I haven’t been able to bring myself to let them go… yet.  I think I hear some rattling in that box and I am afraid to look and find out which one was destroyed.

One day I hope to display my chess boards.  The house at this time really doesn’t call for it.  In the boxes they stay.

Picture frames are still in boxes.  It must look weird to others but I haven’t found the time to focus on that.  Turns out it is not a priority for me.  All the scrapbooking supplies found new homes.  That one was a big *ouch* for me.  The time and money invested in that little hobby that went nowhere…  I have no regrets because I believe their new home will find a better use for them.

My life has always been transient and I have always embraced that.  Why did I feel the need to take everything with me? For fear of being destroyed or lost?

I found I liked clean lines and less stuff cluttering up my life.  It frees me to focus on other things.  Come on! What value would it even have in 5 years? 10 years? I found a lot of freedom of letting go of things that I had not touched in the last 6+ months!

Ready to use a Winke Life Hack? Here are the questions Honey Bear and I agreed to ask ourselves:

  1. Have we used it in the last 6 months?
  2. Do we plan to use it in the next 3 months?

Basically if we horde things we end up carrying around a lot of junk.  Some of which get broken.  In keeping with that when we want something we realize that if we are lying to ourselves we could be throwing away something in a couple of months down the road… So we ask each other:

  1. Do we really need it? (Will we use it?)
  2. Can we afford it? (Paying in cash/ How will this impact our budget for things we need?)
  3. Where will we keep it? (Space is very important.  Everything needs a place!)

When it comes to the kids the rule is simple.  We ask them to bring out all the broken toys to get thrown away.  If at any given time they are unable to clean their room, we know that they are overwhelmed by their responsibility.  We then ask them to put away the thing they want to keep and bring to the middle of floor things they want to throw away.  Things they no longer want to be accountable for.

We don’t box it up and hide it in the garage.  We do try to find someone else that may want it.  If it is in great condition we donate it.(resources being available to donate it)  All things aside we take it to the curb. Tip: We hate people rummaging through our trash but we could care less if they take reusable stuff.  We try to place the salvageable items to the side.  I feel like I am helping treasure hunters and at the same time keeping trash from floating in my yard…

Don’t get me wrong we tried to put toys in the “earn it back” box.  Guess what happened?  The majority of those toys stayed there for 6+ months.  You know what that means?  Yep that’s right.  To the curb it went.

The kids didn’t really care about those toys.  WE had the emotional attachment to the toys.  Once we realized that we were able to act towards a solution that works for us.

That also means we buy less toys or we buy thing we know will last in our house.  Our home maybe different but we are happy with it.  It is a little know fact that our house is constantly changing to fit our needs.  It’s kind of like a “Where’s Waldo” theme.  I think some people find that entertaining… Where will the couch be the next time they visit? Can you spot the new favorite thing?  Where is the TARDIS today?

Hopefully we were able to pass our enlightenment on.  What Life Hack are you using to bring positive energy into your home or life?

2 thoughts on “Life Check

  1. Kimberly Kline

    I also have found great peace of mind in de-cluttering. After each season I go through my clothes and if I have not worn it, it is tossed or donated. That has kept things much easier. I also do that with my house. Like you mention, any new purchases must have a place to go and serve a function (although I do believe there is great function in beauty). But no matter, doing this has brought a sense of control over my surroundings and made things much more manageable. Thanks for the reminder!

    1. winkeysolutions

      Thank you Kimberly for sharing!

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