Have I Gone Mad?
Off to the Lawyer!
Who by the way found the Lost Parent in 3 days.
The parent we needed to find to end this ordeal.
The Lost Parent of course said screw you so we went to court.
We had to give him an opportunity to come to court. So we waited. Trying our best to Stay focused on the Good Stuff.
In that time I wondered… why was he refusing to work with us? Or was it the same bag of tricks and a power play? Did he really want to see his offspring? What changed?
His intentions were immediately clear when his lawyer put a halt to our request in November. He did the thing he was good at 8 years ago. He convinced his lawyer, who convinced the judge, that I hid this child from his knowledge. The impression he gave them was that I was knocked up and then walked out of his life. He was playing the victim again – even at the expense and welfare of his own child.
The Lost Parent was so convincing that my own lawyer was short with me. I was made to look like I had hidden this child from him and the judge was not happy about that!
It now fell to me to prove my innocence. I had a week to find anyone who remembered the circumstances and would stand as a witness. I didn’t expect anyone to be able to respond because it was Thanksgiving week.
I was touched by those who were quick to respond!
I searched through old emails and found documents that were scanned and attached…. Which was a blessing because I lost many pictures and documents due to a move one year. More to a computer overheating and crashing in the next. Everything else that could possibly help me was already in Germany waiting to be unpacked. Who knows how long it would take to go through all of those boxes to find the files I needed?
But still. What I had – would it be enough?
It turned out it was! The evidence against the Lost Parent? Mainly 3 Inspector general Investigations opened because he refused to support his family while we were married. He had kept the housing allowance for himself and he would only pay child support once during each investigation. In every way possible he refused to acknowledge he had a son.
The emails? Conversations I had with his leadership to show disinterest and non-support. I then included all the ways he could have reached me, to include that I maintained residence in the area for the next 5 years. Not only did he know where to find us but about a year after the divorce I ran into him at a donut shop in the area. He looked me dead in the eye and then… walked out without a word.
The Lost Parent was now claiming he hired someone to look for us but couldn’t because our last name changed…
Except that Lil Man’s name, listed fully in our divorce decree, never changed. Except he knew where my father’s house was. Except he had access to the Dependent’s information in his records. Except he had our phone number and email address…
He had come to court to stop us from leaving the country and possibly obtain custody of Lil Man. Except he never made the effort until we found him. But in the end he didn’t even show up to court. Not even to see the child he claimed had been taken from him.
From here on out this stranger will be in our lives… While I never would discourage a parent from being a part of their child’s life, I wonder… I wonder if I should not have agreed to a deal.
I knew I had a good chance for sole custody. But I also knew that the proceedings could have been dragged out.
So what does it hurt to give someone a second chance? Right?
Except 3 months ago he could have worked with us to reach the same results achieved this week. 3 months ago the whole thing could have taken a week to resolve. Heck it could have been a big step in improving the relationship between two parties…
In the Queen’s Court Alice realizes that the Knave of Clubs was on trial but never showed remorse or offered to clarify the case. It’s abundantly clear that justice wasn’t served for everything endured… or if it was, the wrong person bore the penalty. And without a doubt I can be certain he will continue to play the victim to his benefit. The problem is that will only get him so far.
But right now I don’t even care! He wasn’t able to manipulate the situation to his end this time. Dear passport agents who sent us to this place… my custodial rights were protected and validated.
We played the cards we were dealt and we are going home! Shuffle up and Deal the next hand!